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Today's category: LawyersLawyer Quiz¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: Professional courtesy.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: Because deep down, they are all nice guys!¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: An offer you can't understand.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: What would happen if you lock a cannibal in a room full of lawyers?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: He would starve to death.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: Did you hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: The lawyer charges more.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
THE two most successful entrepreneurs on Wall Street of the past two decades work on opposite sides of Park Avenue. Larry Fink, 65, is a Democrat whose hand is glued to a Starbucks cup and who runs BlackRock from 52nd Street. Stephen Schwarzman, 70, is a Republican who wears striped shirts with plain collars and runs Blackstone from between 51st and 52nd. The two are ex-colleagues, but have sharply opposing views on investment and management. Their trajectories illustrate how finance is changing. Mr Fink, once the underdog, is on top.His firm, BlackRock, is the world's largest asset manager, with $6trn of assets. It stands for computing power, low fees and scale, and is booming. Mr Schwarzman's firm, Blackstone, is the largest ‚Äúalternative‚ÄĚ manager, focused on private equity and property, with $387bn of assets. It stands for a time-honoured formula of brain power, high fees and specialisation. Lately, it has trod water.When Mr Fink was a securities trader in his 30s he joined...Continue reading
ASK frequent flyers which is their favourite aircraft and most come up with the same answer: the A380 superjumbo made by Airbus, a giant European planemaker. Able to carry 525 passengers in a typical three-class layout, on two full-length decks, the aircraft still feels spacious, with wide aisles and plenty of headroom. Frequent flyers also admire the freshness of the cabin air, the lighting systems that are designed to reduce jet lag and the quietness of the cabin. ‚ÄúYou can hardly hear it take off,‚ÄĚ one fan recently told Gulliver. ‚ÄúAnd I can actually go to sleep on the plane unlike any other I've been on before.‚ÄĚBut less than a decade after it carried its first paying passengers, the age of the superjumbo looks like coming to an end. When Airbus announced its plans to build the plane in 2000, it hoped to sell up to 1,200 of them over two decades. Eighteen years later it has sold just a quarter of that figure, and has...Continue reading
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