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Today's category: FaithThe Fall¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A man named Jack was walking along a steep cliff one day, when he accidentally got too close to the edge and fell. On the way down he grabbed a branch, which temporarily stopped his fall. He looked down and to his horror saw that the canyon fell straight down for more than a thousand feet.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ He couldn't hang onto the branch forever, and there was no way for him to climb up the steep wall of the cliff. So Jack began yelling for help, hoping that someone passing by would hear him and lower a rope or something.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ HELP! HELP! Is anyone up there? "HELP!"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ He yelled for a long time, but no one heard him. He was about to give up when he heard a voice. Jack, Jack. Can you hear me?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Yes, yes! I can hear you. I'm down here!"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I can see you, Jack. Are you all right?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Yes, but who are you, and where are you?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I am the Lord, Jack. I'm everywhere."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "The Lord? You mean, GOD?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "That's Me."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "God, please help me! I promise if, you'll get me down from here, I'll stop sinning. I'll be a really good person. I'll serve You for the rest of my life."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Easy on the promises, Jack. Let's get you off from there; then we can talk."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Now, here's what I want you to do. Listen carefully."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I'll do anything, Lord. Just tell me what to do."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Okay. Let go of the branch.""What?" "I said, let go of the branch. Just trust Me. Let go."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ There was a long silence.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Finally Jack yelled, "HELP! HELP! IS ANYONE ELSE UP THERE?"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Beto thinks only the government should determine when people can work, or even go outside.
Today's category: DeathThe Dying Preacher¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behaviour that made them squirm in their seats.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Finally, the banker said, "Preacher, why did you ask us to come?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: BibleBiblical Songs¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Esther: "I Feel Pretty"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Moses: "The Wanderer"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Samson: "Hair"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Salome: "I Could Have Danced All Night"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Joshua: "Good Vibrations"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Peter: "I'm Sorry"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Esau: "Born To Be Wild"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: "Great Balls of Fire!"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The Three Kings: "When You Wish Upon a Star"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Jonah: "Got a Whale of a Tale"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
The ability to identify (and act on) a worthwhile venture is always a skill worth cultivating.
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