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Today's category: BlondesFirst Football Game¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked her how she liked the game.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand though why they were killing each other for 25 cents."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "What do you mean?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "All they kept screaming was: Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
The market was slightly down on Friday, but it was still a great week.
In February last year, the Daytona 500, the NASCAR season opener, drew a Nielsen Rating of only 5.3. That was an all-time low.
Today's category: PastorsWatermelons¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The poorly paid local pastor grew watermelons to suppliment his meager income. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the pastor's sign. When the pastor returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, "Now there are two!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: LawyersProfessional Fighting¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians. The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and put a thumbtack in it. When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and put a tack in it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This putting tacks in shoes and spitting in cokes?"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
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