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The opportunity to engage in a structured and comprehensive study of the Bible from the convenience of your home is available on line or by correspondence. Whether your interest is an earned degree or just a personal Bible study... our drive for academic
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The Master's Locksmith provides Locksmith sales & services online with 60+ years combine experience.The Master is the Lord Jesus Christ. The locksmith is Marc Grizzard and the owner is Beth Grizzard
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Today's category: PilotsHave A Good Flight┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: MistakesBirthday Gift┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: ChristmasSanta's A Woman┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ I think Santa Claus is a woman....I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ - Men can't pack a bag.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ - Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ - Men don't answer their mail.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ - Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ - Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ - Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ - Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: KidsEenie Meenie┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A census taker walked up to a woman who was sitting on a porch. After introducing himself, he said, "How many children do you have?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The woman answered, "Four."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The census taker asked, "May I have their names, please?" The woman replied, "Eenie, Meenie, Minie, and George."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Confused, the census taker said, "May I ask why you named your fourth child 'George'?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Surely, because we didn't want any Moe."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: WivesHousewife Woes┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" she said. "What kind of a day are you having?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. "Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Why, George! Your husband!....Is this 223-1374?┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "No, this is 223-1375."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
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