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Today's category: TechnologyThe Phone¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A young man wanted to get his beautiful wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The next day the wifey goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says "how do you like your new phone?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ She replies "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "What's that, baby?" asks the husband.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "How'd you know I was at Wal-Mart?"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: MiscellaneousSign of the Times¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - Plumber "We repair what your husband Fixed."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania "Don't sleep with a drip, call your plumber."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - Pizza shop slogan "7 days without pizza makes one Weak."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - Door of a plastic surgeons office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - Sign at the psychic's Hotline "Don't call us, we'll call you."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - At A Laundry Shop "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - At a Towing Company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - Billboard on the side of the road "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - On an Electricians truck "Let us remove your shorts."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - In a Nonsmoking Area " If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - On Maternity Room Door "Push, Push, Push."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - At an Optometrists Office "If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - On a Taxidermist's window "We really know our stuff."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - In a Podiatrist's office "Time wounds all heels."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - On a Butchers window "Let me meat your needs."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - On a fence "Salesman Welcome, Dog food is expensive."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - At a car Dealership "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - Outside a Muffler Shop "No appointment Necessary, we hear you coming."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - Outside a Hotel "Help! We need inn-experienced people."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - On a desk in a reception room "We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - In a Veterinarians waiting room "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay! "¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - At the Electric Company "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - On the door of a Computer Store "Out for a quick byte."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - In a Restaurant window "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - Inside a Bowling Alley "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - In the front yard of a funeral home "Drive carefully, we'll wait."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ - In a counselors office "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
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Today's category: Old FolksHearing Problems¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
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