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Today's category: HusbandsHusband Speak¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I don't care what color you paint the kitchen." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "It's a guy thing." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Can I help with dinner?" Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Why isn't it already on the table?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really mean....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Good idea." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Have you lost weight?" Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "My wife doesn't understand me." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "It would take too long to explain." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I have no idea how it works."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "The batteries in the remote are dead."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I got a lot done." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "We're going to be late." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "You cook just like my mother used to." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "That's interesting, dear." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Are you still talking?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I forgot our anniversary again."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "You expect too much of me." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "You want me to stay awake."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "It's a really good movie." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "It's got guns, knives, fast cars."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "That's women's work." Really means....¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
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