Today's category: HusbandsPlaying HouseÂ Â Â Â Â Â A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey Billy, want to play house?"Â Â Â Â Â Â He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"Â Â Â Â Â Â Sally replied, "I want you to communicate your feelings."Â Â Â Â Â Â "Communicate my feelings?" said a bewildered Billy... "I have no idea what that means."Â Â Â Â Â Â The little girl nods and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
The time has come for judgment to begin at the house of Godâ€¦ â€”1 Peter 4:17The Christian servant must never forget that salvation is God's idea, not man's; therefore, it has an unfathomable depth. Salvation is the great thought of God, not an experience. Experience is simply the door through which salvation comes into the conscious level of our life so that we are awareâ€¦
Irony! Sanctuary state politician has personal space invaded.
Today's category: KidsThru a child's eyesÂ Â Â Â Â Â It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child, was home alone with her 3 year old daughter, Katelyn. Heidi started to go into labor and called 911.Â Â Â Â Â Â Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic was able to respond to the call.Â Â Â Â Â Â The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.Â Â Â Â Â Â Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his feet, and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.Â Â Â Â Â Â The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help, and asked the wide-eyed 3 year old Katelyn what she thought about what she had just witnessed.Â Â Â Â Â Â Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Spank him again."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: DrunksGive Me A PushÂ Â Â Â Â Â A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over.Â Â Â Â Â Â Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.Â Â Â Â Â Â So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.Â Â Â Â Â Â "Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"Â Â Â Â Â Â "No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the man and he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened.Â Â Â Â Â Â "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you," she says.Â Â Â Â Â Â "Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter, and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"Â Â Â Â Â Â "But the guy was drunk," says the husband.Â Â Â Â Â Â "It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere, he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please." So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts,Â Â Â Â Â Â "Where are you?"Â Â Â Â Â Â "I'm over here," the stranger replies, "on your swing."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend