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…they found Him in the temple….And He said to them, "…Did you not know that I must be about My Father's business?" —Luke 2:46, 49Our Lord's childhood was not immaturity waiting to grow into manhood— His childhood is an eternal fact. Am I a holy, innocent child of God as a result of my identification with my Lord and Savior? Do I look at my life as being in my Father's house? Is the…
Today's category: PoliticsWelcome To America A foreign visitor was being given a tour of Washington, D.C. one day by an American friend of hers. She was amazed at the size of the Monuments, the Congressional Buildings, and so forth. Finally she gazed upon the White House itself. "My, that's an incredibly large building!" she remarked. "Yes, it's pretty big, alright." said her friend. "Big? It's huge!! About how many people work in there?" she asked. "Oh... about half."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: WivesAddicted to Quilting She learned to quilt on Monday. Her stitches all were very fine. She forgot to thaw out dinner. so we went out to dine. She quilted miniatures on Tuesday. she says they are a must. They really were quite lovely. But she forgot to dust. On Wednesday it was a sampler. She says stippling's fun. What highlights! What Shadows! But the laundry wasn't done. Nine patches were on Thursday - Green, yellow, blue and red. I guess she really was engrossed; She never made the bed. It was wall hangings on Friday, In colors she adores. It never bothered her at all, That crumbs were on the floors. I found a maid on Saturday, My week is now complete. My wife can quilt the hours away; The house will still be neat. Well, now it's only Sunday, I think I'm about to wilt. I cursed, I raved, I ranted, Cause the MAID has learned to QUILT!View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: Sunday SchoolHow To Get To Heaven A teacher asked the children in her Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?" "NO!" the children all answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?" Again, the answer was "NO!" "Well," she continued, "then how can I get to heaven?" In the back of the room, a five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: FarmersThe Race An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years, and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. "So, they're trying to replace me", thinks the old rooster. "I've got to do something about this." He walks up to the new bird and says, "So, you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet, and I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself." Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on, " said the young rooster. "And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy, " said the young rooster. So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gathering around to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guys lead has slipped a little, but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old roosters lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely ahead of the young rooster. By now, the farmer has heard all the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barnyard, figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away. As he walks away slowly, he says to himself, "Darn !!!! that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
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