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Today's category: PastorsLetters to the Pastor¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert Anderson, age 11¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow. Laurie. Age 10, New York City¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven someday but later than sooner. Love, Ellen. Age 9, Athens¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, LewistonView hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: HusbandsThe Fiance¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A young woman brought her fiance home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told her father to find out about the young man.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The father invited the fiancee to his study for a talk. "So what are your plans?" the father asked the young man.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I am a Biblical scholar," he replies.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "A Biblical scholar. Hmmm," the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will provide for us."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiance.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The conversation proceeded like this, and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insists that God will provide.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Later, the mother asked, "How did it go, Honey?" The father answered, "He has no job and no plans, and he thinks I'm God."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: PoliticsWelcome To America¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A foreign visitor was being given a tour of Washington, D.C. one day by an American friend of hers. She was amazed at the size of the Monuments, the Congressional Buildings, and so forth. Finally she gazed upon the White House itself.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "My, that's an incredibly large building!" she remarked.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Yes, it's pretty big, alright." said her friend.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Big? It's huge!! About how many people work in there?" she asked.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Oh... about half."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: WivesAddicted to Quilting¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ She learned to quilt on Monday.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Her stitches all were very fine.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ She forgot to thaw out dinner.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ so we went out to dine.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ She quilted miniatures on Tuesday.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ she says they are a must.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ They really were quite lovely.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ But she forgot to dust.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ On Wednesday it was a sampler.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ She says stippling's fun.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ What highlights! What Shadows!¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ But the laundry wasn't done.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Nine patches were on Thursday -¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Green, yellow, blue and red.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ I guess she really was engrossed;¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ She never made the bed.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ It was wall hangings on Friday,¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ In colors she adores.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ It never bothered her at all,¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ That crumbs were on the floors.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ I found a maid on Saturday,¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ My week is now complete.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ My wife can quilt the hours away;¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The house will still be neat.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Well, now it's only Sunday,¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ I think I'm about to wilt.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ I cursed, I raved, I ranted,¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Cause the MAID has learned to QUILT!View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today, the Senate agreed to proceed to a debate on H.R. 1628, the House-passed American Health Care Act of 2017. In order for the Senate to debate the important elements of Obamacare's repeal and replacement, senators needed first to support a procedural motion to begin consideration of H.R. 1628. Family Research Council (FRC) scored in favor of the motion to proceed to H.R. 1628. ...
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