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Today's category: LawyersLawyer Quiz¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: Professional courtesy.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: Because deep down, they are all nice guys!¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: An offer you can't understand.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: What would happen if you lock a cannibal in a room full of lawyers?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: He would starve to death.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: Did you hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: The lawyer charges more.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Q: Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A: You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
THE two most successful entrepreneurs on Wall Street of the past two decades work on opposite sides of Park Avenue. Larry Fink, 65, is a Democrat whose hand is glued to a Starbucks cup and who runs BlackRock from 52nd Street. Stephen Schwarzman, 70, is a Republican who wears striped shirts with plain collars and runs Blackstone from between 51st and 52nd. The two are ex-colleagues, but have sharply opposing views on investment and management. Their trajectories illustrate how finance is changing. Mr Fink, once the underdog, is on top.His firm, BlackRock, is the world's largest asset manager, with $6trn of assets. It stands for computing power, low fees and scale, and is booming. Mr Schwarzman's firm, Blackstone, is the largest ‚Äúalternative‚ÄĚ manager, focused on private equity and property, with $387bn of assets. It stands for a time-honoured formula of brain power, high fees and specialisation. Lately, it has trod water.When Mr Fink was a securities trader in his 30s he joined...Continue reading
THE great Sir Isaac Newton may have revolutionised our knowledge of the world but he still had his blind spots. He was sucked into the great mania of his day, the South Sea Bubble (pictured) and lost a lot of money. ‚ÄúI can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies but not the madness of people,‚ÄĚ he ruefully reflected. In retrospect, he should have pondered the popular saying that was used to define his law of gravity: ‚ÄúWhat goes up, must come down.‚ÄĚInvestors in bitcoin are learning this old truth. The price of the cryptocurrency peaked last month at somewhere over $19,000 (there is a very wide spread, a problem in itself) but, at the time of writing (around 11am GMT), some exchanges now show a price below $10,000.¬ Perhaps the best way of understanding bitcoin is through a model of how bubbles operate. The classic model, developed by Hyman Minsky and elaborated by Charles Kindleberger, a historian who studied bubbles, has five...Continue reading
When He was alone‚Ä¶the twelve asked Him about the parable. ‚ÄĒMark 4:10His Solitude with Us. When God gets us alone through suffering, heartbreak, temptation, disappointment, sickness, or by thwarted desires, a broken friendship, or a new friendship‚ÄĒ when He gets us absolutely alone, and we are totally speechless, unable to ask even one question, then He begins to teach us. Notice Jesus‚Ä¶
I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here am I! Send me." ‚ÄĒIsaiah 6:8God did not direct His call to Isaiah‚ÄĒ Isaiah overheard God saying, ‚Äú‚Ä¶who will go for Us?‚ÄĚ The call of God is not just for a select few but for everyone. Whether I hear God's call or not depends on the condition of my ears, and exactly what I hear‚Ä¶