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Today's category: ChurchThe Dead Church¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A new Pastor in a small Oklahoma town spent the first four days making personal visits to each of the members, inviting them to come to his first services.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The following Sunday the church was all but empty. Accordingly, the Pastor placed a notice in the local newspapers, stating that, because the church was dead, it was everyone's duty to give it a decent Christian burial. The funeral would be held the following Sunday afternoon, the notice said.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Morbidly curious, a large crowd turned out for the "funeral." In front of the pulpit, they saw a closed coffin, smothered in flowers. After the Pastor delivered the eulogy, he opened the coffin and invited his congregation to come forward and pay their final respects to their dead church.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Filled with curiosity as to what would represent the corpse of a "dead church," all the people eagerly lined up to look in the coffin. Each "mourner" peeped into the coffin then quickly turned away with a guilty, sheepish look.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ In the coffin, tilted at the correct angle, was a large mirror.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. ‚ÄĒ1 Corinthians 9:22A Christian worker has to learn how to be God's man or woman of great worth and excellence in the midst of a multitude of meager and worthless things. Never protest by saying, ‚ÄúIf only I were somewhere else!‚ÄĚ All of God's people are ordinary people who have been made‚Ä¶
Today's category: PrayerYou Shouldn't Skip Church¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs. That was the good news. The bad news was the ferocious bear charging at him from a distance, and he couldn't move.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Oh Lord," the preacher prayed, "I'm so sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish.... please make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me. Please, Lord!"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ That very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud right at the preacher's feet.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Dear Lord, bless this food I am about to receive... in Jesus' name... Amen."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: TechnologyChristian Computer Virus¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ You have just received the "Christian Computer Virus."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Because we are Christians, this virus works on the honor system.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Please delete all the files on your hard drive, then manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Thanks for your cooperation.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend