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Today's category: MiscellaneousNun In A Cab¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance and see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 1) you have to be single and¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ 2) you must be Catholic."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The nun says, "O.K., pull into the next alley."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ He does and the nun kisses him. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying his eyes out. "My dear child, why are you crying?"¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ "Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween Party."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
TEN months ago the Trump administration took aim at steel and aluminium imports, giving itself a year to decide whether they threatened national security and, if so, what to do about it. On February 16th it concluded that America is indeed under threat. The president has until mid-April to choose whether to respond.The reports handed to Donald Trump by the Department of Commerce, which led the investigations, describe America as effectively under siege. Its steel industry might struggle to respond to a crisis similar to the second world war, they fret, as foreigners are filling a third of American demand for steel, even as 28% of national capacity lies idle. The share of primary aluminium (the kind smelted from ore, rather than recycled metal) that is imported is 91%, and 61% of local smelting capacity lies cold. Doubters can point out that the Department of Defence requires a tiny slice of American steel supply, and that America's largest supplier for both metals, Canada, is an ally (see...Continue reading
OIL bears beware. On February 20thSuhail al-Mazrouei, OPEC's rotating president and energy minister of the United Arab Emirates, said the 14-member producers' group is working on a plan for a formal alliance with ten other petrostates, including Russia, aimed at propping up oil prices for the foreseeable future. If it comes to anything, it could be OPEC's most ambitious venture in decades.The result will not be, he insists, a ‚Äúsupergroup‚ÄĚ. The notion of Saudi Arabia and Russia joining forces as the Traveling Wilburys of the oil world may be a bit jarring. It remains an idea in ‚Äúdraft‚ÄĚ form. But whatever its chances, it attempts to shift a belief widely held by participants in oil markets: that non-American oil producers are helpless against the shale revolution.That belief has strengthened because of a renewed flood of American shale production in the latter part of 2017 after prices of West Texas Intermediate climbed above $50 a barrel. The International Energy Agency...Continue reading
BONDS, shares and Treasury bills are all very well, but in the end they are just pieces of paper. They are not assets you can hang on the wall or display to admiring neighbours. Many rich people like to invest their wealth in more tangible form; property, of course, but also collectibles such as art, fine wine and classic cars.Is that wise? Elroy Dimson, Paul Marsh and Mike Staunton of the London Business School (LBS) have run the numbers for their annual analysis of the financial markets in the Credit Suisse global investment-returns yearbook. Some of these assets have done rather better than others (see chart). Fine wine delivered the best returns; surprising to cynics who might assume that, in the long run, the value of wine vanishes as it turns into vinegar. Really old wine often has historical resonance. A bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild from 1787 was sold for $156,450 in 1985 because it was thought to belong to Thomas Jefferson.Estimating the returns from these assets, after...Continue reading
Beretta hits its sales targetIT WAS a blunder by Heckler & Koch, a big German gunmaker. On February 15th the firm apologised for a ‚Äúmistake‚ÄĚ after its American subsidiary posted a Valentine's image showing a handgun surrounded by ammunition arranged in the shape of a heart. The image went out to social media shortly after a deadly school shooting in Florida.The post was also a reminder that although Europeans often criticise lax firearm-ownership laws across the Atlantic, the region's firms are increasingly present in America's market for small arms‚ÄĒdefined as revolvers, pistols, rifles and shotguns. Americans buy far more such weapons than any other nationality and their appetites have been growing steadily. This year they are likely to buy 14.5m such firearms, notes Jurgen Brauer of Small Arms Analytics, a consultancy. Europeans have proved deft at grabbing a sizeable portion of all this.