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ChristiansUnite Christian Joke of the Day

ChristiansUnite Christian Joke of the Day

Clean Christian joke of the day.
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Today's category: FathersThe Truth About Dad┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep with Daddy."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: ChurchThe Cleaning Woman┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ There was a little old cleaning woman that went to the local church. When the invitation was given at the end of the service, she went forward wanting to become a member. The pastor listened as she told him how she had accepted Jesus and wanted to be baptized and become a member of the church.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The pastor thought to himself, "oh my, she is so unkempt, even smells a little, and her fingernails are not clean. She picks up garbage, cleans toilets - what would the members think of her." He told her that she needed to go home and pray about it and then decide.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The following week, here she came again. She told the pastor that she had prayed about it and still wanted to be baptized. "I have passed this church for so long. It is so beautiful, and I truly want to become a member."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Again the pastor told her to go home and pray some more. A few weeks later while out eating at the restaurant, the pastor saw the little old lady. He did not want her to think that he was ignoring her so he approached her and said, "I have not seen you for a while. Is everything all right?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Oh, yes," she said. "I talked with Jesus, and he told me not to worry about becoming a member of your church."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "He did?" said the pastor.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Oh, yes" she replied. "He said even He hasn't been able to get into your church yet, and He's been trying for years."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: SatanSatan's Beatitudes┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians in Church ~ they are my best workers.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Blessed are those who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked ~ I can use them in my business.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Blessed are those who are touchy. Soon they will stop going to church ~ verily, they shall be my missionaries.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Blessed are those who sow gossip and trouble ~ they are my beloved children.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Blessed are those who have no time to pray ~ for they MY prey.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Blessed are those who gossip ~ for they are my secret agents.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Blessed are you when you read this and think it has everything to do with other people, and nothing to do with you. ~ I've got room for YOU at my inn.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: BibleThe Children of Israel┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out." "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Right."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "An' the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Er--right."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Again you're right."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz allthe grown-ups doin?"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: AnimalsHow to Tell the Weather┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ To Tell the weather, Go to your back door and look for the dog.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Sincerely,┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The CATView hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: Men vs. WomenMen and Women - Difference┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ While eating out and the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20 even though the bill is only $22.50. None will have anything smaller, and none will admit they want change back. When girls get the bill out come the calculators.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ With money a man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 dollar item she doesn't want.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ In a bathroom a man has 5 items. A toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Holiday Inn. A women has on average 337 items in her bathroom. A man would not be able to identify most of these Items.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ In arguments a woman has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beggining of a new argument.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking men kick cats.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A women worries about the future until she gets a husband. A husband doesn't worry about the future until he gets a wife.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, and read a book. A man will get dressed up for weddings and funerals.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A succsessful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful women is one who can find such a man.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: RednecksThe Pig┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ This redneck was parked behind a trailer load of pigs near the zoo in Washington, DC. As the truck drove away--one of the pigs fell out. He walked over and picked the pig up and placed it in the front seat of his truck.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ He was sitting there looking puzzled when a policeman walked up and asked what was going on. He told the story and the policeman recommended he take the pig to the zoo.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The redneck was sitting in the same spot the next day with the pig sitting up in the front seat. The cop said "didn't I ask you to take this pig to the zoo?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The redneck replied "I did and he liked it so well--today I'm taking him to the movies!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: CopsCrime Doesn't Pay┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES." ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: DoctorsDangerous Food┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: Sunday SchoolAdam's Rib┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he were ill, and said. "Johnny what is the matter?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: Old FolksWalking On Water┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Amanpreet heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all walked on water on their 21st birthdays. So, on his 21st birthday, Amanpreet and his good friend Brian headed out to the lake.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "If they did it, I can too!" he insisted.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ When Amanpreet and Brian arrived at the lake, they rented a boat and began paddling. When the got to the middle of the lake, Amanpreet stepped off of the side of the boat... and nearly drowned. Furious and somewhat shamed, he and Brian headed for home. When Amanpreet arrived back at the family farm, he asked his grandmother for an explanation.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Grandma, why can I not walk on water like my father, and his father, and his father before him?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The feeble old grandmother took Amanpreet by the hands, looked into his eyes, and explained, "That's because your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were born in January... you were born in July, dear."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: DrunksLanguage difficulties┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A Chinese went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to a famous Hollywood producer, Steven Spielberg who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The producer was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the producer.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Picking himself up, he yelled, "What was that for?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The producer ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you $B%'%'([email protected]@!!$B%'%'(J! My dad perished in that bombing!"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "I am not Japanese, you stupid Nincompoop! I am a Chinese!"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Yeah yeah yeah ...Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, Vietnamese, ... you are all the same."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few seconds later, the Chinese turned around and delivered a deadly snake fist to the producer, sending him flat to the floor.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "What was that for?!!" exclaimed the producer.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "That's for the sinking of the TITANIC! I had ancestors on that ship!" the Chinese replied.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "You ignorant chink! The TITANIC was sunk by an iceberg! " shouted the producer.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Yeah yeah yeah... Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg... you are all the same!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: Sunday SchoolBarrels of Water┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Now, said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A little girl in the back of the room raised her hand with great enthusiasm. "To make the gravy."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: MarriageGetting Even┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ His wife, irritated by her husbands' lack of discretion shouts back...┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: PastorsPastors' Wives┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Two Pastors wives were visiting and sewing their husbands pants. One wife said: My husband is just beside himself, he does not know what to do anymore and he is so tired and depressed he said he is ready to just give up and resign.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The other wife said: I am sorry to hear that because my husband has never been happier. Our membership is growing and we are out of our financial burden, we have such a large and loving congregation. Life could not be any better than it is right now.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ One woman was mending the seat of her husbands pants, the other was mending the knees.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: PoliticsLetter to Heaven┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A little boy wanted 100 dollars badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, they decided to send it to the President┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a 10 dollar bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The little boy was delighted with the money and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, and as usual, those jerks deducted 90%. Love, TommyView hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: PoliticsWhat's He Going To Be┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career. So they decided to do a small test.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ They put a note on the front hall table that they had left. Around the note they put a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey. Then they hid, pretending they were not at home.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The father told his wife, "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible, he will be a pastor, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a no-good drunkard."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son read the note that they had left.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Then he took the ten-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ After that, he took the Bible, flipped through it, and put it under his arm.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The father slapped his forehead and said: "This is worse than I could ever have imagined!"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "What? asked the wife.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Our son is going to be a politician!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: MilitarySecure The Building┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ One reason the Armed Services have trouble operating jointly is that they have very different meanings for the same terms;┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The Joint Chiefs once told the Navy to "secure a building," to which they responded by turning off the lights and locking the doors.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The Joint Chiefs then instructed Army personnel to "secure the building," and they occupied the building so no one could enter.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Upon receiving the exact same order, the Marines assaulted the building, captured it, and set up defences with suppressive fire and amphibious assault vehicals, established reconnaissance and communications channels, and prepared for close hand-to-hand combat if the situation arose.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ But the Air Force, on the other hand, acted most swiftly on the command, and took out a three-year lease with an option to buy.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: SchoolPhilosophy Class┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A college student was in a philosophy class, where there was a class discussion about whether or not God exists, The professor had the following logic:┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is no God."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak. The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?" Absolute silence.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?" When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The student received an "A" in the class.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: HeavenVisitor To Heaven┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Saint Peter is watching the gates of Heaven, but he really has to go the bathroom. He asks Jesus to watch the gates for a few minutes, and Jesus says "Fine." St. Pete takes the book which lists everyone who's supposed to get into Heaven with him to the bathroom to have something to read. ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ As Jesus is standing there, he sees this old man leading a donkey up from Earth to Heaven. He notices the old man has carpenter's tools with him. When the old man gets to the gates, Jesus tells him he doesn't have the book, but asks the old man to explain his life and why he felt he should be admitted into heaven. Jesus would then make the decision whether or not to let him in based on the story. ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The man explains "In English, my name would be Joseph, but I didn't live in America or England. I lived a modest life, making things out of wood. I'm not remembered very well by most people, but almost everyone has heard of my son. I call him my son, but I was more of a Dad to him, he didn't really come into this world in the usual way. ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ I sent my son out to be among the people of the World. He was ridiculed by many, and was even known to associate himself with some pretty unsavory characters, although he himself tried to be honest and perfect. My single biggest reason for trying to get into Heaven is to be reunited with my son." ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Jesus is awestruck by the man's story. He looks into the old man's eyes and asks, "Are you MY earthly father?" ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The old man's face brightens; he looks at Jesus, and asks, "Are you my Pinocchio?"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: MarriageWedding Rehearsal┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the minister with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ He passed the minister the cash and walked away satisfied.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The wedding day arrives, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the minister looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The groom leaned toward the minister and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The minister put the $100 into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: RednecksYou're A Redneck Jedi If┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 1. You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 2. Your Jedi robe is camouflage.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 3. At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 4. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 5. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 6. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 7. Wookies are offended by your B.O.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 8. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 9. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 10. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electroshock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 11. You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 12. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ 13. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: BibleThe Oil Find┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ Two old friends met one day after many years. One attended college, and now was very successful. The other had not attended college and never had much ambition.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The successful one said, "How has everything been going with you?"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ "Well, one day I opened the Bible at random, and dropped my finger on a word and it was oil. So, I invested in oil, and boy, did the oil wells gush. Then another day I dropped my finger on another word and it was gold. So, I invested in gold and those mines really produced. Now, I'm as rich as Rockefeller."┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The successful friend was so impressed that he rushed to his hotel, grabbed a Gideon Bible, flipped it open, and dropped his finger on a page. He opened his eyes and his finger rested on the words, "Chapter Eleven."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: MiscellaneousDigging A Hole┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole, he would dig, dig, dig, the other would come behind him and fill the hole, fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously. One digging a hole, the other filling it up again.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn't believe how hard these men were working, but couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask them.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ He said to the hole digger, "I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!"┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The hole digger replied, "Oh yeah, must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: SermonsA Problem With Teeth┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made. The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ ┬ The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... and I couldn't stop talking!View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
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