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Today's category: GreedThe Dumb Yuppie A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!" he whined. "You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!" Oh my gaaad...", replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex!!!!!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Seven tried and true steps for attracting visitors to your small business' site -- and getting them to buy.
He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. —2 Corinthians 5:21The modern view of the death of Jesus is that He died for our sins out of sympathy for us. Yet the New Testament view is that He took our sin on Himself not because of sympathy, but because of His identification with us. He was “made…to be sin….” Our…
If you don't build your brand, you won't survive.
Xponential Fitness Founder and CEO Anthony Geisler shares the leadership secrets that have helped him build a boutique fitness empire.
Colonel Sanders's newest incarnation is fiercely defending the fried chicken chain's 11 blends of herbs and spices.
And do it without taking too big a risk.
Accidental franchises are a trap for the unwary -- and the trap is sure to attract cannabis entrepreneurs looking for a quick footing in the burgeoning cannabis industry.
I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. —1 Corinthians 9:22A Christian worker has to learn how to be God's man or woman of great worth and excellence in the midst of a multitude of meager and worthless things. Never protest by saying, “If only I were somewhere else!” All of God's people are ordinary people who have been made…
Ali Hynek, founder and CEO of Nena and Co., outlines building a handbag business that values her products' quality and her employees' quality of life.
Tim Kobe, CEO of Eight Inc. and X Eight Ventures, discusses what it means to successfully adapt your design plans.
Today's category: ChristmasSanta's A Woman I think Santa Claus is a woman....I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag. Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: - Men can't pack a bag. - Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. - Men don't answer their mail. - Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly." - Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. - Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women. - Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: BlondesName the Capital A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!" The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?" The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
The Save the Internet Act could help win the net neutrality battle, even if it doesn't pass.
Social media is a tool you use. Your website and your email list are assets you own.
Today's category: TechnologyWinter Is Coming The Indians asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter going to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite cold indeed." So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely" the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: WivesHousewife Woes The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" she said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight." The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. "Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once." "George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?" "Why, George! Your husband!....Is this 223-1374? "No, this is 223-1375." "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number." There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Neighborhood opposition has killed many a plan for opening a dispensary. How do you deal?
In today's marketing world, a YouTube star or an Instagram model can have more influence and engagement than some of the largest brands in the world.
Today's category: SermonsBragging boys Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Without faith it is impossible to please Him… —Hebrews 11:6Faith in active opposition to common sense is mistaken enthusiasm and narrow-mindedness, and common sense in opposition to faith demonstrates a mistaken reliance on reason as the basis for truth. The life of faith brings the two of these into the proper relationship. Common sense and faith are as different…
Today's category: MiscellaneousMoney In Mexico Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Medico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able to catch him. He falls again, bounces, and comes back up again. This time he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what is a pinata?"View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
Today's category: StupidityTechnical Support This is reportedly an actual phone dialog of a former WordPerfect customer support employee: Support: "Hello, Technical Support; may I help you?" Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." S: "What sort of trouble?" C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." S: "Went away?" C: "They disappeared." S: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" C: "Nothing." S: "Nothing?" C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." S: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" C: "How do I tell?" S: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" C: "What's a sea-prompt?" S: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" C: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." S: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" C: "What's a monitor?" S: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" C: "I don't know." S: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" C: "Yes, I think so." S: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." C: "Yes, it is." S: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" C: "No." S: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." C: "Okay, here it is." S: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." C: "I can't reach." S: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" C: "No." S: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark." S: "Dark?" C: "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." S: "Well, turn on the office light then." C: "I can't." S: "No? Why not?" C: "Because there's a power outage." S: "A power?!? A *power* outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." S: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." C: "Really? Is it that bad?" S: "Oh, yes, I'm afraid it is." C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" S: "Tell them you're just too darn stupid to own a computer."View hundreds more jokes online.Email this joke to a friend
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